Divorces are on the rise up from the last 20 years. It is said that over 50% of all new marriages will end in divorce in their first ten years.
When there are no children involved, divorce can be a quick way of ending a marriage. Even though one or both partners may want to separate permanently, it can still be a hurtful situation. Many divorces end in ugly fights that take years to get over financially and psychologically. If there are children involved, the situation only gets worse. Many children believe that it is their fault that the marriage did not work out, and they somehow had a hand in how it is ending. It is more important to help a child know this is not the case than it is for a partner to feel they get the good end of the deal.
Even though the divorce is in the works, if there are children involved, it is best that counseling and family times still continue. For younger children, the interruption of a stable family life can be more harmful than good. If the situation requires divorce due to domestic issues or violence, the family time will be decided by the courts before divorce. Teenagers deal better with divorce than do their younger counterparts.
Teenagers can become violent and engage in risky behavior to make them feel as though they are stating their opinion on the situation. Younger children may completely clam up and avoid both parents to not take sides. “In our practice we have noticed that explaining divorce and its reason to children of any age has proven critical in avoiding permanent psychological damage in the future,” stated Jessica at BLSAPC.
Individual counseling is available for children, or group therapy can be quite beneficial if your area offers it. Being with children that are also going through a divorce can help a child to cope better with the situation, this especially being true of teenagers. Younger children can see a psychologist for any psychological troubles that are experienced, with a focus on the child’s feelings about the divorce.
Parents are normally not allowed in these sessions so that the child feels they can tell a doctor about how they feel. Parents or partners can take individual counseling before, during and after a divorce to help lessen the blow of the act. This will help to learn coping skills and how to rebuild a life alone, as well as dealing with the loss of a loved one.